How we are Socialized

Killing us Softly by Jean Kilbourne, shows how ads are used to sell items such as jeans. These ads really have nothing to do with the items being sold; they are used mostly to exploit women. These ads tell society that women are objects and not human beings. It portraits women as sexual objects. Ads of women with their mouth covered or eyes looking down, indicating that women are not equal but below social standards and have no voice. Ads of women being physically harmed and violated. These ads shape society’s view on “norms” and how women should be viewed. The true nature of the woman is lost when her body is technically selling something. A body that is being shaped by society, saying to exploit and sell it. This is a norm here in the United States and the Western World. Commercials, magazines and even newspapers telling women “this is what you should look like and how you should behave.”

Sadly, when looking at a jeans ad, a woman might feel she wouldn’t look as good as the model and feel bad about herself. Even worse, a woman might just attempt to look that good by starving herself. The ad in the video of the woman with the watch worn on her upper arm is just frightening. It is safe to say that these ads play a tremendous role on how women view their bodies. It also shows how dangerous this can be for an insecure woman who has a poor view of herself. Instead of a woman being made to feel confident in her own skin, she is influenced by false and airbrushed photos. This is what she has to compete with. These examples show how Media influence society.

A Call to Men: Tony Porter talked about emotions and how men are not supposed to show them. Men are not supposed to behave like a girl. They are supposed to be strong and brave. When he talked about his daughter crying and the comfort he offered, he was being good dad. When his son cried, he was stern and told the 5 year to be a man. This is an example of the “norm” in men. Another example of the norm is when he was asked to take advantage of that girl who couldn’t defend herself from being sexually violated. Although he didn’t commit the act, he didn’t stop it either. Going along and even though remorseful, going with the norm of what a man is suppose to do.

I was saddened by the grief his father couldn’t share with his family, especially with his wife over the death of his son. Not to be consoled and to suffer in silence is just not healthy. Not showing emotion dehumanizes men. It is human to cry and emotions are part of our very being. An expression of ourselves. The self that changes and yet stays the same. The self that wants to cry and yet remains quite out of fear and shame of what society might think.

According to Chapter Five in Sociology Now, Gender Socialization tells us that boys and girls are expected to learn the norms differently. Boys are expected to be tough and girls sensitive and even passive. How unfair. I remember my daughter wanting to play softball and my mom thinking something was wrong with that. She said I should send her to dancing school, I didn‘t. She played ball and loved it. Was I wrong in allowing her to play? Was I making “A Tomboy” out of her? Chapter five states that’s what society would say. Wasn’t it her natural self I was nurturing? Or was I going against nature and encouraging her to so something wrong? I didn’t think so then and I really don’t think so all these years later.

Should we be categorized ? Should we be evaluated by how much we know by a certain age like Piaget suggests, or do we look at the individual who can contribute to society in a positive way at their own pace and comfort level. I don’t think society will change their minds and I don’t think we being human have much say in it. In the end most people will go with the flow. As we know, Society plays a huge role in who we are. How we are nurtured and what comes natural doesn’t mean we are right in what we do. It’s just what we know and learned from others. Chapter Five in Sociology Now tells us, Socialization is the process by which we become aware of ourselves as part of a group. It shapes our being and changes our views. Who our true self is and who we become. Like the woman in those ads and Tony Porter who were shaped by society. We all rely on society in order to survive. We rely on our parents when we are born and as we grow we depend and those in society for all of our needs. What to wear, what to eat and most importantly, what we believe. We look to our peers ,colleagues, church and government who play a role in shaping us. But is this positive? Isn’t it our natural right to decide for ourselves what the norm is? Why then are we so dependent on this whole called Society. Why is it that we can’t survive unless we are part of this group? John Locke believed we are born with a clean slate and Jean Jacque Rousseau believed we are born good, but are corrupted by society. These men believed we have Human Rights. Rights we are born with. No one has a divine right we are all human. It is true that our Founding Fathers modeled these beliefs when shaping our government. How then do we continue to be so dependent on society and their norms? I’m not sure, but I do know it is something that should be questioned and also challenged.

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Society

Society is a collection of individuals and institutions, bounded by space in a coherent territory, subject to the same political authority, and organized through a shared set of cultural expectations and values. This is what I have learned from reading chapter 3 in Sociology Now. Its amazing to me of how we as an American Society can all share in this society and yet be so different. For example groups. We all belong to a group. Be it a primary group in which we share with our loved ones or secondary group in which we share with co-workers, colleagues and perhaps club members. In groups and out groups, well, we all know about those. Who is in the in group and who is in the out group? Well that's for society to decide right? Really, the in group is the one we are suppose to feel comfortable in and of course their is the out group in which, well, not so comfortable. I have certainly experienced both. In my work place, in my church and even at BMCC. I remember growing up and being in a clique with the girls and then in a few weeks being out. I guess that was just the beginning of understanding my place in society.

Today we have facebook and texting. The whole world can know everything about you without even ever catching a glimpse of you. Yet we become part of this global network that people are involved in just to be part of a group. I guess that goes with roles. We play a role in order to belong. I remember when facebook came out I was really against it until my co-worker told me she used it and loved it. I figured what do I have to lose. Let me keep up with the Joneses. Well, what I lost was a lot. My account got hacked into and you can just imagine what I went through to get my privacy back.

Statuses and Bureaucracy are a big part of my daily life. I am not at the status I would like to be and sometimes wonder if I will ever be. I am enjoying this class because it helps me to see life from two different perspectives. The me and the history. The place where I am and how I got to be here. Interesting!

In the end, I am still a part of society and contribute probably in ways I don't even know. My only hope is to help make it better or at least more tolerable for those who are not feeling so comfortable in the group they are in. That is if I can achieve my status and become a Social Worker. Being at BMCC has given me a good start.

Culture

For me culture is who we are, what we know and what we believe. When I was growing up I wasn't aware that not every family did the same things my family did. I grew up going to church on Sunday mornings, visit my grandmother and eat pasta and meatballs at 2pm. I remember being shocked when I realized some of my friends didn't do this. Some of my friends didn't have to be home for Sunday dinner and were able to go to the movies. When I would ask my mother if I could go, it was like I was talking in tongues. She wouldn't hear of it. I just couldn't understand why I couldn't go. Didn't she know I would rather be with my friends.

It has been a long time since those days of family dinners and I long for my mothers meatballs in which sadly since her passing, I will never have again. Honestly, sometimes I still have a hard time understanding why people do what they do. Since I became a Human Service major at BMCC, I have come to have a better understanding. I never really thought about people and the roles their cultures play in their lives or even how cultures are created. I have seen how people are judged and ridiculed because of their beliefs. In my religion and even among friends who are in relationships with people who don't meet societies expectations, are judged for whats believed to be right and wrong. I often wonder about what is means to be normal. Who decides what makes us fit in and does it really matter? Why does society have this right to categorize us and make us different. Not just in our ethnicity but in our class and even in political views. Aren't we all just human.